Elena's Quest

Balancing family, fitness, faith, career and fun!

I’m scared…… January 2, 2012

Filed under: General — Elena @ 9:56 pm

As I have been reflecting on what I want for this year I realize I am afraid.  Nervous. Scared. Stressed out.  Why?  I am afraid of failing.  I have always been relatively high strung although I have managed to mellow out quite a bit over the past 10 years or so.  Maybe age and kids help with that!  Anyhow,  I can be a perfectionist and afraid of showing the less than stellar side of me to others.  Today I realized I am afraid of failing at Farrell’s 10 week challenge.  I know I can do the workouts but I am worried about the nutrition side of it.  What if I don’t stick to it?  I am afraid of getting on a road bike again.  Falling hurts and broken bones suck.  Does that make me a big baby? What if I don’t lose this weight I have put on?  I also am planning on doing a marathon this year – what if I can’t do it?  WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK?  Is that what worries me the most?  Or is it really having this extra 10-15 pounds on me that worries me?  Or a combination of both?

On the family front.  I have two daughters – 12 and 14 .  Am I setting a good example?  Am I teaching them the right things?  ARE THEY LISTENING????  What if they are NOT?  What if I fail at THAT?  Scary thought there……..

Career.  I work in a very competitive, high stress job.  Which is 100 % commission.  What if I fail at that?  Um – obvious answer there -no paycheck!  Another scary thought…….

Wow do I know how to find things to worry about!

Of course everyone has stresses, fears, challenges, worries, etc.  Some of us worry more than others and we all handle these feelings differently depending on our coping mechanisms and perspective.

For the last few years I’ve been managing my stress pretty well and I think know that my workouts have been a huge part of that.  Since “the break”  I’ve been more anxious and crabby.  Obviously the lack of activity made it more difficult for me to deal with the stresses of everyday life.  Logically I knew that when I could be active again I would be happier but for some reason that was not a big consolation when I was feeling so down!  Now is the time to get back at it!  Just the last two weeks of  regular activity has helped some and, when some of this weight starts to fall off, I know I will feel more positive and confident which in turn will enable me to deal with things better.

Here’s to stress relief!

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